My Concern

Let’s Not Have Any Commitments

This is about romantic relationships.

What’s the point of having commitment when it’ll hurt one or both sides ?

I want to have a man whom I love and love me back, our love should be equals.

IMO, love needs commitment while I don’t want it.

People will eventually get hurt but I don’t want to get hurt by our commitments, because the healing process will take quite some times or it’ll remain forever. I don’t want that !

The commitments will bring ourselves to our families.

Can we have our commitments without your families or mine bother us ? Ever ?

They can be the most supported people for us ever, yet they can be hurting us even worse than strangers.

‘Cause I’ve been going through that for my entire life. I’m tired !

Then can we just ~ the two of us ?

If it’s not possible, then let me just not loving you or even knowing you.

My Concern

Let Me Enjoy Being Me

It’s somehow a habit for people to generate body-shape standard and picture the non-general body-shape as a very bad thing. I’ll talk about how people around me interfere my body-choice.

“Dik* you need to have a diet, look at you. You’re too fat,” my aunt directly told me that.

I was, of course, pretty surprised hearing her said that.

I mean, come on ! She only met me after years and that was her comment ?

I wasn’t the polite-to-relatives kind of girl, so I talked back to her and I believe that was my right.

“You’ll hardly get a husband with your body,” she added.

Waow ! Is she God or what ?

I, then, told her that I didn’t care about that. Like come on, I need a man of course, but not the one whom doesn’t want me.

It’s so weird how she said those nasty words, she also has plus size body and I expected her to encourage me.

That was one comment from my relative, I got lots of bad comments about my body and mostly I let them know that I feel comfortable with my body. Duh !
Seriously though, I don’t bother others’ body-shape choices. In one condition, as long as others don’t bother me. I’m not the kind-to-all type of person anyway.

This mature sexy looks, taken 4 years ago

Listen, if those people think plus size means not healthy and they want me to get healthier. There’s a good way to give me advice, not by giving discouraging words.
I really do my best to accept my body, yet sometimes I can also feel insecure if people discouraging me almost all the time.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t ask others to encourage me, yet I don’t ask them to discourage me either. I don’t think they will get any benefits anyway. However they keep doing it.

I have a pretty ‘sharp’ tongue*, sometimes spell out whatever I mean to in a good way, apparently that’s only what I thought. Some people tend to think I’m too offensive.

Anyway, with that kind of character, people still giving me bad comments. Don’t you usually avoid being judgmental to ‘sharp-tongue’ people like me ? Ahh unfortunately it doesn’t apply here. They are too happy meddling others’ matters.

Yeah yeah, the way I think like this isn’t an instant result, it needs process. The older I get the more knowledge I get and one of the knowledge is to accept any body shapes. It’s even weirder, people who bad commenting my body are from my age and even older like my relatives. Don’t people usually get mature throughout the time ? Ooh yaa of course, age doesn’t define maturity and maturity doesn’t defined by age.

The elegant looks, taken a month ago.

I admit that I’m a plus size woman; fat, stretch mark surely exist inside my body, yet I’m enjoying all of that.

I’ve ever read a meme about friendships, a very close friends bonding by ‘sarcasm’ and ‘insult’. And yeah, me and my close friends are on that state. I don’t get offended by what they say and vice versa, ’cause we don’t mean it to literally insult each other. Do strangers usually insult each other and everything just fine ? Hhmm, I don’t think so. They will get offended, right ? And maybe fight each other. Oke Rani stop right there ! You don’t know that much. Ooppss alright.

Last thing, do my body shape bother you ? If yes, why ?

Haii people out there, whoever read this. Please enjoy being you !

Thanks for reading. Have a nice day.


*Dik = Adik, an address for younger people. Usually to address younger siblings. But yeah my aunts and uncles address me ‘adik’.

*Sharp-tongue = people who talk freely that sometimes others get offended by. Sorry not sure how to describe this well. Indonesian people tend to small talk and not spell out their thoughts (sometimes I do). So freely-talk people still a minority (I don’t do any research about this of course, but it seen). Thoughts here means a good way, not the thoughts for bad commenting others or another bad thoughts.


Just Miss ULTIMATTE in Queen Bee

Just Miss is one of the local Indonesia’s cosmetics brand which has various products with affordable price. From the decorative cosmetics products to nail products.

Just Miss is usually sold in Stroberi store at certain mall.

This time I’ll write a review, which definitely my own opinion, about Just Miss ULTIMATTE Waterproof Lip Cream in Queen Bee.

Queen Bee is an orchid shade with magenta undertone.

Just Miss ULTIMATTE in Queen Bee


IMHO, it has a creamy-liquidy formula, at first it pretty liquidy then feels creamy on the lips.

This lip cream dries pretty fast, if you need another coat apply it as fast as possible or else the dry coat will come off.

Just Miss ULTIMATTE in Queen Bee has a pretty dead-matte finish, which people might look for.

It has a quite good coverage, one coat can fill in the whole lips.



I’ve only wore it twice, yet I could already tell this lip cream was long lasting.

I wore it from around 9 am. and it lasted until the next morning, yeah I didn’t erase my lipstick.

A tiny little amount faded on the butthole lips after I ate my meals like three times.

Nothing Special with The Applicator, Just Like Another Liquid Lipstick


The fragrance is super nice, a strawberry-sweet-like kind of smell.

Pretty similar with Revlon Ultra HD Matte Lipcolor in Love/ Amour.

The Shade Here is Lighter than The Actual Shade

Does it suit my taste ?

I didn’t lips-swatch this liquid lipstick ’cause found it uncomfortable on my lips, even though I applied lip balm first.

It dried easily, not a bad thing of course, yet not a good thing either for me.

I couldn’t build up the colour ’cause once I applied another coat, the coat on my lips swept away.

Maybe I couldn’t use the applicator well that it turned out not as I expected.

Anyway I actually love the colour, still going to wear it.

I might apply it with my finger, don’t use the applicator. LoLs.

I find it lighter and easier to apply that way.

The Shade Here is Pretty Similar with The Actual Shade

Where to buy ?

I bought this on Stroberi store at MOG (Mall Olympic Garden) Malang, the price was IDR 36,000.

MATOS (Malang Town Square) also has Stroberi store which you might find it there as well.

You can also buy it on Just Miss official online store, it costs IDR 35,000.

Thank you for reading ! Have a nice day !


P.S. : All the images featured here belongs to my personal documents.