My Concern

#PersonalThoughts : Let Me Enjoy Being Me

It’s somehow a habit for people to generate body-shape standard and picture the non-general body-shape as a very bad thing. I’ll talk about how people around me interfere my body-choice.

“Dik* you need to have a diet, look at you. You’re too fat,” my aunt directly told me that.

I was, of course, pretty surprised hearing her said that.

I mean, come on ! She only met me after years and that was her comment ?

I wasn’t the polite-to-relatives kind of girl, so I talked back to her and I believe that was my right.

“You’ll hardly get a husband with your body,” she added.

Waow ! Is she God or what ?

I, then, told her that I didn’t care about that. Like come on, I need a man of course, but not the one whom doesn’t want me.

It’s so weird how she said those nasty words, she also has plus size body and I expected her to encourage me.

That was one comment from my relative, I got lots of bad comments about my body and mostly I let them know that I feel comfortable with my body. Duh !
Seriously though, I don’t bother others’ body-shape choices. In one condition, as long as others don’t bother me. I’m not the kind-to-all type of person anyway.

This mature sexy looks, taken 4 years ago

Listen, if those people think plus size means not healthy and they want me to get healthier. There’s a good way to give me advice, not by giving discouraging words.
I really do my best to accept my body, yet sometimes I can also feel insecure if people discouraging me almost all the time.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t ask others to encourage me, yet I don’t ask them to discourage me either. I don’t think they will get any benefits anyway. However they keep doing it.

I have a pretty ‘sharp’ tongue*, sometimes spell out whatever I mean to in a good way, apparently that’s only what I thought. Some people tend to think I’m too offensive.

Anyway, with that kind of character, people still giving me bad comments. Don’t you usually avoid being judgmental to ‘sharp-tongue’ people like me ? Ahh unfortunately it doesn’t apply here. They are too happy meddling others’ matters.

Yeah yeah, the way I think like this isn’t an instant result, it needs process. The older I get the more knowledge I get and one of the knowledge is to accept any body shapes. It’s even weirder, people who bad commenting my body are from my age and even older like my relatives. Don’t people usually get mature throughout the time ? Ooh yaa of course, age doesn’t define maturity and maturity doesn’t defined by age.

The elegant looks, taken a month ago.

I admit that I’m a plus size woman; fat, stretch mark surely exist inside my body, yet I’m enjoying all of that.

I’ve ever read a meme about friendships, a very close friends bonding by ‘sarcasm’ and ‘insult’. And yeah, me and my close friends are on that state. I don’t get offended by what they say and vice versa, ’cause we don’t mean it to literally insult each other. Do strangers usually insult each other and everything just fine ? Hhmm, I don’t think so. They will get offended, right ? And maybe fight each other. Oke Rani stop right there ! You don’t know that much. Ooppss alright.

Last thing, do my body shape bother you ? If yes, why ?

Haii people out there, whoever read this. Please enjoy being you !

Thanks for reading. Have a nice day.


*Dik = Adik, an address for younger people. Usually to address younger siblings. But yeah my aunts and uncles address me ‘adik’.

*Sharp-tongue = people who talk freely that sometimes others get offended by. Sorry not sure how to describe this well. Indonesian people tend to small talk and not spell out their thoughts (sometimes I do). So freely-talk people still a minority (I don’t do any research about this of course, but it seen). Thoughts here means a good way, not the thoughts for bad commenting others or another bad thoughts.


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